Great is His Mercy!!!

This song has just been in my head all day so I had to share!! I look crazy, as usual!!! HAHA Be blessed. 

Here is the actual song!!!

Prayer

Sometimes that's all you have left. Never give up on prayer and the power of it. Sometimes it seems like things are at their end and there is no where to go. That feeling can be so overwhelming. Many have lost hope all together and ended their lives. Others have lost faith in God and turned their backs on him, unfortunately.  Proverbs 20:30 speaks about how pain makes us more susceptible to God. Isn't that the truth??? When we are in a bind, who do we call? Jesus!! Something about that name, huh?

We have to realize that sometimes we put ourselves in situations and let ourselves down. We then expect God to fix it with a snap of a finger. It doesn't always work like that. We learn more and more about ourselves when we are in uncomfortable situations. Some people find out how much of a coward they are, while others find their true strength!! We have to start taking these moments in our lives and make them beneficial to us. Just like a performance evaluation, for example. When you are evaluated, you learn your strengths and weaknesses. Once you know them, you have something to work on or maintain. The idea here is to identify the strengths and weaknesses. Don't run from them, face them head on and figure how to fix them or maintain. Never, ever get complacent, in life! Life is so full of opportunity and changes! Position yourself to take a hold of these changes, embrace them, and continue to grow.

Adventure Junky

I think it is weird but its me. I loooove excitement and uncertainty. It gets my blood pumping. It gets me so high I lose my breathing pattern! I wanna sky dive, be amongst the sharks, and anything else that will get me pumped!! Weird but I sort of like being in dangerous situations (as long as no one gets hurt). I love surprises!!!! Mainly because no one can surprise me!! LOL I look and watch EVERYTHING!

I'm also a scary person!! LOL You can't make me do something illegal, knowingly!! But doing something in hopes of not getting caught is such a thrill!!! I really have to start a bucket list and just start doing random things!! It's so many things to do in this world to get your goose!! LMAO

• Racing
• Going Commando (special occasion only)
• Eavesdropping
• Running amongst a crowd
• Sky diving
• Swimming with sharks
• Role Playing in Public
• Haunted Houses
• Watching a SCARY movie alone, at night with the surround sound blaring
• Going camping with only matches, water, and a fishing pole
• Being amongst a bad storm, in the tub, hearing the sirens

I know, I know!! Weird!!!! 

Lost

Somewhere along the way I lost you. I use to be extremely outspoken, fun, and energetic. I think I gave you away in a packaged deal but it was not my intentions to. I need you back. I need me back. I've become engulfed by the opinions of many that dictates not one step in my life. I need me back. The friends I use to talk to are living their lives, of course but I've caused them to live it without me. I don't blame them, entirely. I want their friendship just as they want mine. Somewhere along the way I lost who I am. I was strong, alive, a beaming light. Now I just simmer in my corner. I've gone about things all wrong. I have to repair these broken bridges. I have to find myself back to me. Many dreams and ideas, wants and aspirations have been thrown by the way side. It's time for me to live out those dreams, make those ideas reality, and just break boundaries I've bricked and mortared. I'm reclaiming myself this day. I'm going to find you, hold you, and never let you go again. My power, my confidence, ME.

I Think I Hate You

Yea, I know, hate is such a strong, powerful word but these feelings I have fits under no other category. I'm a little too emotional to V-blog about it so I'm just going to do this the old fashion way. This is a letter to someone who will probably never read this.

Dear Thief,

You have attempted to take something from me so valuable and rare. Your reasoning behind it makes no sense yet you still want something you know not the true value of. It broke my heart when I found out it was you who tried stealing the very thing I looked up too. That's my benchmark, that's my love, my connection to the past I hold dear to my heart. What is it to you? You lie if you say it means more to you than me. Look what you did when you had it? I would shed blood for it, giving it all I had, yet you only tried taking what didn't belong to you. You thief!  I feel I would take your life for it but it's of no comparison.

Will I ever look at you the same? Never! Will I ever love you again? Probably not. I loved because you were loved. Now I must forgive because you have been forgiven. Only because God forgave me will I forgive you. I have repented and I hope you do the same.

Next time we cross paths, be grateful of the head nod I give and the silence that follows. Next time our eyes meet, thank God for Jesus, the only reason forgiveness comes from me. 

I think I hate you,
Camelia

DIRECTV...Oh you mad???

Reality Show (Love & Hip Hop, Single Ladies, Big Ang, Hollywood Exes)

The Ocean Is Flowing Freely

First V-Blog

Valued?

What do you value the most? Is it a person or thing? The bible says that a man holds his treasure close to his heart. What is close to your heart? If it is a person, does that person know it? Value rarely speaks for itself.

Value is known by research and time put into that specific thing. If you value your car, you'll wash it, perform maintenance on it, and do whatever else is required to make it the best in your eyes. If you value a person, you'll show them by time spent, gifts given, encouragement shown, and words spoken to their inner being. Many people will say things to you but you know when its of no true meaning. A person who values you go beyond the normal compliments and ministers to your soul. A normal person looks at the outer beauty but a person who values you look into your gateways and connect to your emotional being.

Are you valued?

Jailhouse Religion

You know what I mean when I say jailhouse religion, right?!!!! I was watching First Week In on TLC (because I enjoy criminal justice reality TV for some strange reason) and I started noticing a trend. Individuals who get "caught up" in the justice system seems to always find their way to the Holy Bible. When they find themselves in a situation, they call on the name of Jesus. They beg and plead on their hands and knees for God to deliver them out of the "lion's den".

Well I talked to a friend this morning and when I got off the phone with her, I started praying and God convicted my heart. "Why do you pray to me only when in need? When you want me to provide for you, then you call, but what about the other days?" Well..... you should have saw the look on my face!!!! I'm so guilty!! And to make it worse, I talk down on people who do it to me!!! Don't call me when you only need money or want to borrow my car, because I'm not going to answer the phone!!!!! Conviction, CONviction, CONVICTION!!!!!! We have to do better, people....or is it just me?

God did say he would never leave us nor forsake us yet we do it to him; we do it so effortlessly! When we get into a bind, we instantly start quoting scriptures we didn't even know we knew!! LOL We start trying to convict God!!!! The audacity we have, right!!!?

Lets start incorporating God more into our lives. Not just a "Thank you God for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way", but lets start putting more feeling into thanking and respecting him. We need to spend some quality, alone time with him. Remember the song, "Quality time, with you"! I can't remember who sung that song! Either R. Kelly or Guy!  Anyway, you get my point. Let's develop a friendship with God and not just a take, take take. I'm sure you'll find it more meaningful than you ever thought.

Been A While

Hello all!! I know I started off pretty well, posting everyday or at least every other day!! Since then, I have started working and started grad school and now I am realizing how much free time I had back then and how much I miss it!!!!! AAAHHHH

This new job that I will be resigning from next week (LOL) is a Night Auditor position and man oh man, this girl was not created for the night shift!!!  I was doing so well getting to work on time, at 11:00 pm but tonight I overslept!!! I received a call at 11:20pm wondering were I was!! Luckily I only stay 5 mins away!!

I guess God doesn't like ugly!! LOL I had a little 'tude ...(attitude) with my husband before falling asleep so I guess that came back to bite me in the butt!!! It's so funny how we can sleep through a phone alarm but wake up on that first call after you're late!! Unbelievable!!!!

Today just isn't the day for me!! I don't feel like reading 4 chapters for class or anything!! This difference in work schedule is getting to me! I'm used to the 08:00am-4:30pm working schedule!!! This gives me time to be away from the hubby, make money, but also spend quality, family time after work! That's hard to do when I have to be sleep by 2pm and up at 10pm and he's getting ready for bed at 10.  And then to top that off, I get off at 7am tomorrow then turn around and have to be back by 3pm the same day!!! Let's just pray I don't oversleep this time!!!!!

Last day of work is weekend after next!!!! Whoohoo!! I enjoyed the experience and hopefully in the future I can venture into that B&B but for now, I think I'll stick to accounting!!!

No Life For Me

I have taken a liking to the First 48, Prison Wives, and everything else involved in incarceration.  I don’t know if it’s the fact that it makes me more appreciative in the state that I’m in or is it the interest in trying to find the root cause of other’s misfortune.

I was watching one episode of the First 48 and this young man was so remorseful for taking a life of an innocent guy. He was crying and just distraught. Of course I felt bad for him but the moment he changed into jail attire and the handcuffs were put on, he turned into an animal.

That episode reminded me of the movie Planet of the Apes. It made me so sick to my stomach that even though that’s a movie, it is real in our day in age. Don’t get me wrong; I believe everyone should pay for the crimes they commit. I just wish there was another way.

From my view on the outside looking in, prison is a whole other world. It’s a world of no freedom and a daily struggle for life. People are literally caged! I’m sure boarded dogs have better treatment!! I guess I’m just sensitive but I know the moment someone violated me, I would want him or her behind bars.

I've watched many inmates interview about raping other inmates as well as being raped. Of course some of it is for pleasure but a lot of it is to instill fear and show dominance. That just hurts me! For men, the being that we view as all powerful, to be broken down due to rape is so sad. 

I just want to see something positive come from incarceration and prison.  Prisons were initially established to give criminals time to reflect upon their actions but I personally don’t think that’s enough. I’m sure they have programs in prison now that helps promote a better way of life but I also think proper support system is needed. I think good prison ministries and great communication with family can help but still more is needed. We have to start preaching forgiveness no matter how hard it is.

Even when people are released back into society, we act as if we don’t want them here. On EVERY job application it request criminal background information. 9 times out of 10 no one wants to hire a felon no matter what they have done! It’s such a catch 22! I have heard of farms that hire individuals with criminal backgrounds and I think that's awesome. I'm sure there are more business avenues out there that can be taken that helps a business as well as the individual settle back into society. The streets will always be there unfortunately, but if we can show that we care more and want more for them, hopefully that will be more appealing.

Power of Listening

Listening is an amazing tool for life. Many people confuse great communication skills with just talking. It’s great when we can be open enough to voice opinions, concerns, and experiences but that’s not enough! Being a great communicator involves listening. Not selective listening but true listening!

How we approach conversations is the starting point. Some people approach conversations as just being a person for someone to vent to while others approach conversations as being a problem solver or a mentor. Both are great but both have their downsides. 

 

Knowing the person who needs you can dictate the approach you take. If you know your best friend is upset over a decision they made, helping them figure out future choices can be extremely helpful. Be sure not to boast too long on things you have done or mistakes you have made because that takes the "light" off of them. We can get so caught up in what we did and so on that we fall into our own world.

Some people just need a body to sit and vent, curse, scream, and just let go. I'm coming to find out that people vent the most in relationships!! LOL I love that I have a close friend who I can call and just let everything go!!!! She doesn't tell me it's my fault or I deserve things to go a certain way in a negative form. Granted, I'm not saying we don't need someone to be there for us and tell us when we're wrong, cause we do!! I'm extremely stubborn so at times, I do need my friends or spouse to be real and tell it to me straight. But for the other times, just sitting there and listening to that person, consoling them if need be, is just what the doctor ordered.

Try to be a good listener to someone in need. Being a good listener can produce great friendships. Just be genuine about things. Don't do it just to be nosy!! LOL Alot of people have that really bad too!!! People become fake friends just to get into your business. Of course, everyone loves some juicy news every once in a while but real friends are genuine and show true concern.