Power of Listening

Listening is an amazing tool for life. Many people confuse great communication skills with just talking. It’s great when we can be open enough to voice opinions, concerns, and experiences but that’s not enough! Being a great communicator involves listening. Not selective listening but true listening!

How we approach conversations is the starting point. Some people approach conversations as just being a person for someone to vent to while others approach conversations as being a problem solver or a mentor. Both are great but both have their downsides. 

 

Knowing the person who needs you can dictate the approach you take. If you know your best friend is upset over a decision they made, helping them figure out future choices can be extremely helpful. Be sure not to boast too long on things you have done or mistakes you have made because that takes the "light" off of them. We can get so caught up in what we did and so on that we fall into our own world.

Some people just need a body to sit and vent, curse, scream, and just let go. I'm coming to find out that people vent the most in relationships!! LOL I love that I have a close friend who I can call and just let everything go!!!! She doesn't tell me it's my fault or I deserve things to go a certain way in a negative form. Granted, I'm not saying we don't need someone to be there for us and tell us when we're wrong, cause we do!! I'm extremely stubborn so at times, I do need my friends or spouse to be real and tell it to me straight. But for the other times, just sitting there and listening to that person, consoling them if need be, is just what the doctor ordered.

Try to be a good listener to someone in need. Being a good listener can produce great friendships. Just be genuine about things. Don't do it just to be nosy!! LOL Alot of people have that really bad too!!! People become fake friends just to get into your business. Of course, everyone loves some juicy news every once in a while but real friends are genuine and show true concern.

 

My Pride and Joy

Recently I've started finding & following great bloggers. Almost 95% of the bloggers have beautiful children!! OMG it almost makes me want to have a baby!!! Then I wake up and tell myself, not yet!! LOL

Danielle after a great groom 2009

Well after my deployment in 2008, my mother blessed me with the greatest gift! Her name is Danielle! LOL Yes, she's a dog but I call her my daughter! The philosophy behind Danielle was simple. My mother knew life on this earth wasn't long for her because of cancer so she wanted to give me something that would love me and keep me company when my mother no longer could.

Danielle & Mom

Danielle was born October 3, 2008 to two loving parents; the mother a Shih Tzu and the father's breed is unknown. Danielle was given to me on December 20th, 2008 and I fell in love at first sight!!!

It's like she has a personality of her own! It's weird but I can look into her eyes and get a sense of how she's feeling. I just love her!! She's super smart too! My friends make fun of me because I talk to her like she's a human!

Yesterday I decided it was past due for Danielle to have a bath! In a perfect world, I would wash her once a week but after I was her, let her run around the apartment to dry off, fight her to finish drying her off, force her to let me brush her, I'm worn out!!!  Well last night it occurred to me that I should record her doing one of her tantrums after a bath!!!  Here's to a good laugh!!!

Rewind Button

"That was easy"

Do ya'll remember the Easy Button button by Staples?  Don't you wish it actually worked in real life? I think we have all made mistakes in the past or even currently and we wish there was a Rewind button. It doesn't even have to be a mistake but it's something we could have possibly done differently or better. It sucks how it is so easy to think of the best possible solutions AFTER the fact!

All that being said, we are human so it's OK to make mistakes! I have a horrible habit of beating myself up over decisions I make or have made. I can sit for hours and just think of how I could have done this or that. Why did I think this way and what persuaded me to do that? I remember having a phone interview for an important job I wanted SOOOO BAD and I got stuck on a question that I should have been able to answer with no problem! I knew when I hung up the phone that I had messed up on the opportunity of a lifetime! Ughh coulda , shoulda , woulda !!

Now look at the realistic side of things. We can't change the past, no matter how long we sit and meditate, hoping, and praying. LOL Granted some of the decisions we make are wrong, we learn tremendously from them. I think the biggest thing we can take from our decisions are learning more about ourselves. I remember reading a quote that said something to the effect that you learn who you really are when you are put into controversial situations. It is so true!!!

Learning who we really are is one way of minimizing regret.  When you truly know what you want out of live and how far you are willing to go, to me, a person should be proud of that. Alot of people focus more on the outcome instead of what is actually happening in the present. When you're proud of who you are and what you are doing, no matter the outcome you still have a sense of accomplishment. I guess it's the "Looking at the glass half full" effect.  My grandmother once told me that when you do something put your all into it, do it like you're doing it unto God, and at the end of the day if the outcome isn't what you wanted, you should be proud that you did the best you could!

Tools to learning yourself:

• Journals-I think journals are awesome because it's a window showing how and what was going on in your life at a specific time.
• Friends-Regardless of what some people say, the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together", is somewhat true. I'll say about 95% true! Look at your close friends. Do you approve of the majority of their actions?
• Church- A good church has a way of convicting your heart in such a way that makes you reevaluate yourself. I'm not referring to a pastor who pin points you out and criticizes you! I'm talking about a church that uses the love of God! Love compels people to Christ.
• Self-Assessments- I have been shocked by the results of self-assessments! LOL Self-assessments help you realize the strengths and weaknesses you have and how you can improve or maintain. Click on "Self-Assessments" to take a quick, free assessment.